"I and my children were beaten and kicked out of our house by the
brothers-in-law. We live by begging, in continual fear"
Widow's Stories
In many countries in Africa, it is considered a ‘crime’ for a woman to lose her husband, and she is blamed for his death. Because of this, widows are humiliated, deprived of their homes and children and punished for the death of their husband... Women are subjected to inhumane, obscene and heinous treatments because they committed the ‘crime’ of allowing death to take their husbands. These stories demonstrate that in these societies it is the duty of the wives to ensure that their husbands do not fall ill, are not attacked by armed robbers or do not get killed by motor accidents.
Angela's Story ( from WIDEN)
Angela is a young widow of 37 years with 4 children. She lost her husband six years ago. This is her story:
My husband was a cement merchant who travelled from Calabar all over the region
to buy his goods. Six years ago, on his way to Gboko, his car was attacked
by armed robbers. The driver managed to escape but the robbers shot at the
back windscreen and the bullet hit my husband on the head. He died immediately
and his corpse was deposited at the nearest mortuary, while the fortunate ones
went on to buy their goods.
He had three shops , all manned by his relations, so when the news of his death reached our home town, his brothers first heard about it, and before I was told, members of the family in the village were informed and they came to my house in Calabar. I came back from work to find the house filled with my husband’s relations, the foreboding looks on their faces warned me of imminent danger, so it was with trepidation that I greeted them. My father in-law waved me to a seat and began to address me thus: -
”Because of your wickedness; my son is dead! Armed robbers have shot him on his way to the market. When he wanted to marry you, I warned him that women of your village are ill wind that blows no one any good, so he should not marry you. He disobeyed me, and now, ten years after, he is dead! If he had listened to my good counsel he would be alive today. ”
He paused for a pinch of snuff, gnashing his teeth in pains or was it for emphasis? Then continued: -
”Now I have to bear this painful loss as a man. Woman, listen to me, and don’t you dare attempt to flout my orders, otherwise you are a dead woman! The three shops have been taken over by the family and they are to be manned by the present managers. After the burial, we shall decide on what to do.
I warn you to keep your husband’s passbook and receipts for every item
of furniture/property handy, for after the burial, they shall be demanded from
you, and may the gods break your head if you hide anything from me. “
So after the burial these heartless people came with a lorry and carted away
everything from the house, they then proceeded to share my children among relations,
but I said NO! My children would never be subjected to such hard life. We were
left penniless, my saving grace is that I am working as a primary school teacher
and from this meagre salary; we have been able to find sustenance. It has been
hard, but we have managed to survive.