"I and my children were beaten and kicked out of our house by the
brothers-in-law. We live by begging, in continual fear"
Widows - India – Vrindavan: Wedded to enterprise
Ms. Usha Rai The Tribune Sunday, May 14, 2006
"Culturally ostracised, socially marginalised, traumatised by personal loss, economically deprived, the widow is discriminated twice—as a woman and as a widow."
The bleak picture of the widows of Vrindavan is changing slowly. Usha Rai reports on the economic independence and the life of dignity which is slowly replacing the old attitude of helplessness and living off charity.
APRIL and May are blistering hot months in Vrindavan but the tide of pilgrims to this birthplace of Lord Krishna has not abated. Nor has the population of widows. It ranges from 12,000 to 15,000 and despite all the efforts of the Department of Women at the Centre and the West Bengal government, their numbers continue to grow. While many of them have been abandoned by their families in this city of Gods, others come on their own seeking moksha (eternal bliss) after death.
Efforts to move the simians, all worthy descendants of Hanuman, have failed and those who have to brave the heat for visiting the temples or for other work, hide their spectacles and packets of food, particularly the prasad, as they negotiate the open gutters, the endless flow of garbage and the potted and pitted streets.
As frail widows, many of them walking with the support of sticks, scurry to and from the Bhajan ashrams, the monkeys can be seen scampering down temple spires, lurking at the sharp turns of the narrow bylanes or swinging from tree tops waiting to grab a tasty morsel from unsuspecting victims. Spectacles and dark glasses grabbed are not returned till their grubby hands are greased with a fruit or some food. Despite the congestion and squalor of Vrindavan, more and more temples as well as guest houses and apartment blocks are coming up.
Vrindavan, despite all the charity pouring into the city and the endless rhythm of chanting, conch shells and temple bells, seems to be caught in a time warp. Only the discerning will get a whiff of the slow change taking place in the lives of widows and the destitute in the city. Many widows are not wearing the stark white clothes of widowhood—in fact they have opted for pastel and printed saris— but those living in the Guild of Service’s Aamar Bari have stopped going to the bhajan ashrams to chant and accept in charity small sums of money and uncooked rice and dal.
At the forefront of the movement to give vocational training and economic dignity to widows and other destitute women is Guild of Service which runs Aamar Bari for 103 widows. Unfortunately, a majority of the residents of Aamar Bari are too old to work. Pramoda is 90 to 95 years and Satyavati is said to be 112. Many of those bent double with age cannot obviously go out and work but within the confines of the home they wash their own clothes, plates, glasses and other utensils after having the meal prepared by the younger inmates.
But the younger ones in their 40s, 50s and even early 60s are eager to supplement their income. From 10.30 a.m. till about 5 pm, with a break for lunch, is work time. Shefali Chakravarty, a skilled craftsperson for leather goods and for tailoring the poshak of Lord Krishna and his companion, Radha, arrives with a few women trained by her, bundles of leather, bolts of brightly coloured cloth for the deities’ dresses and the gold piping and ribbons. All those interested in improving their economic status learn to cut and stitch the leather pieces into functional leather pouches, bags to carry loose coins, credit cards etc. While the bags to keep the mobile are Rs 80 a piece, the smaller money bags etc cost Rs 60 to 40 a piece. In a day, a trained woman can make three to five pouches. The older women make cotton wicks for the lamps and the younger ones learn to stitch pretty clothes for the gods and goddesses of Vrindavan. Shefali markets the goods herself to traders in Agra, Jaipur, Mathura and Nainital.
A lot of the bags and namkeens come to the Guild of Service office and are marketed by the staff. The wicks for the lamps, the poshak of Radha and Krishna, the beads for chanting and the neatly stitched cotton bags to hold the beads are marketed to traders in the vicinity. Some women even make petticoats and blouses. Drying in the sun at Aamar Bari are the wadis. When it is not wadis the women are busy rolling out papads.
The women, sitting in the comfort of the home and working at their own pace, earn anything from Rs 300 to Rs 800 a month. Some excellent namkeens are also made by the women but only in season, says Bhagwati, the culinary expert of the home. A Marwari from Calcutta, 60-year-old Bhagwati came to Vrindavan two years ago after the death of her husband and father-in-law. While her father-in-law 
was a manager of a mill, her husband looked after a petrol pump. "I left my son to look after my mother-in-law and came to Vrindavan for peace and solace," she says. Bhagwati is the official chappati-maker of the home. The dough is kneaded by someone else but chappati-making is her responsibility and she takes pride in the softness of her chappatis. Every day a mountain of chappatis are made. Bhagwati earns Rs 500 a month for making chappatis and for the namkeens of the season another couple of hundred rupees. Her son had just sent her four saris and she twirled and proudly showed the one she was wearing. Bhagwati’s only weakness is tobacco and she makes frequent visits to the shop around the corner for the pudiya. In Kolkata her children would indulge her with a whole box of paan bahar, she recalls. But Bhagwati has no complaints. She is happy to be in Aamar Bari.
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From WRI Newsletter 8 - Full copies of the Newsletter available from WRI office or download PDF