EWD Workshop reports

Widows without Rights Conference

Tuesday 6th February 2001 morning session

Widows' stories
the personal experiences of participants

Sansinona, Sri Lanka
Aged 49, Sansinona is leader of the Katugahagewatta Widows' Development Organisation in Matara District in the south of Sri Lanka, and is Chairperson of the Widows' Federation of the Fishing Community in Sri Lanka. Her testimony was presented by Anuradhe Wickramsinghe, Director of the Small Fishers Federation.
Sansinona was married at 19, and had four children, but when she was 28, her husband died at sea, apparently due to an accident, although she still suspects foul play. The family faced severe hardship, as lacking skills she could only take on very low paid cleaning work.. She was also sexually harassed by local men, including the owner of the boat her husband had worked in. Then, during the insurgency in 1988-89, gunmen came at night and took away her elder son; his body was found next morning burnt. One of her daughters died as well. She was depressed, but worked day and night to send her remaining two children through school. After some years of poverty and sacrifice, she was rescued by the Widows Development Programme of the Small Fishers Federation and selected for skills development training. This was the turning point, and her personal and economic situation improved. Now she dedicates her life to supporting the widows who face similar situations. Most widows in the fishing community are young with small children, with no social security scheme, and the families become destitute after the loss of the breadwinners. Apart from accidents at sea, abduction by militants, suicides, addiction to liquor and divorce can create similar problems for families. Children cannot go to school and have to labour to support themselves. With the support of the Terre des Hommes Foundation of the Netherlands, the Small Fishers Federation is running programmes to help widows in 39 villages on the southern and western coasts. The widows are provided with grants and loans to help them become self-reliant.

Angela Gondwe Malik, Zambia
My husband died in 1988. He was of mixed Asian/Zambian blood. Hence, at his death I faced two different problems. During burial arrangements his Asian relatives wanted to follow Muslim customs. I refused because my husband was a Christian. They became angry and withdrew their support instantly. His Zambian relatives wanted to take everything, but did not want the children. Fortunately I discovered that my husband had made a will. To the disappointment of my in-laws, but to my relief and triumph, the Will was legitimate. Everything including the house was left to the children and me.
Although all widows and orphans are subjected to hardships, there are two laws in Zambia pertaining to inheritance: one Act for governing a written Will (Testate) and the other where no Will is left (Intestate). When there is no will, there are stipulated percentages for the disbursement of the property, but Zambian cultural customs and traditions have turned a blind eye and deaf ear to these stipulations. There is only justice for the family when there is a legitimate will. Otherwise, rich or poor, educated or illiterate, they will suffer. In 1997, I co-founded a Home-Based Care project in my neighbourhood, and in 1999 I started a Day-Care Centre for orphans in a peri-urban compound where unemployment, poverty and HIV/AIDS are at their worst. The Centre is called "Kondwa", which means, "be happy".

Niruben Jhadav, India
My husband died suddenly when I was 45 years old. His death placed the responsibility for the entire family onto my shoulders. I had been married very young and only received primary schooling, and I had to take part-time work to pay the debts that he had left. I was already working with the Self Employed Women's Association (SEWA). Custom said I should stay and home and shave my hair, but I refused, and SEWA supported me in this. Later I had to sell my house and take loans to pay dowries for my daughters to get married, and to pay bribes to get my son a job. I also do social work, helping feed 20 poor women. My three children have all graduated and are self reliant. I don't depend on them economically, credit goes to SEWA, which always encouraged me to be self-reliant. I am making sure that my grand-daughters are able to complete their studies so that their lives are not blighted if they are afflicted with widowhood.

Hilarie Mukamazimpaka, Rwanda
I was widowed at the age of 26, after one year of marriage. My husband was then 29 years old. We had not yet had any children. At the same time as my husband I lost my parents and five brothers, my parents-in-law and seven brothers-in-law. I was left with three orphans of one of my brothers killed during the genocide. I am also caring for two sisters-in-law (my husband's sisters) who also escaped. When the genocide began in 1994, my husband and I fled from our house, but after a time we were caught and my husband was hacked to death. I survived by pretending to be dead. I stayed in hiding for some time, and eventually reached Kigali and met up with my sisters-in-law. The 1994 massacres and genocide killed over 1 million people, leaving Rwanda with many widows, orphans and physically and mentally handicapped persons. Immediately after the genocide, the widows who managed to escape the massacres faced enormous difficulties. All were victims of violence, most suffered from various sexually transmitted infections, some had lost limbs, all suffered from psychological problems of fear, generalised anxiety and trauma, and most from crushing and dehumanising poverty. After the genocide, I determined to continue my studies. I studied law at the Rwanda National University where I obtained my degree in 1999. The same year I became employed as co-ordinator of the Association of the Widows of the Genocide (AVEGA). The main aim of the association, which was set up by 50 widows in 1995, is the psycho-socio-economic rehabilitation of the widows of the genocide and their reintegration into the country's development process. It is usual, when a woman loses her husband, that she will still have brothers, sisters, parents, and in-laws, who can help in her bereavement and be there to help her with the problems that arise. But we, the widows of the genocide, have not had the good fortune to be able to rely on our families. This is why the problems of trauma remain frequent and serious among us. Further, the fact that there are many cases of women and girls who have been raped and been infected with HIV/AIDS and that we currently have an AIDS pandemic, means that widows are treated badly, because they are blamed for the spread of HIV/AIDS. People say: "Many cases of AIDS are caused by widows who have caught it and are helping spread it because they have no husband." For us, this is one final trauma. The 1994 massacres and genocide left Rwanda with many widows, orphans and physically and mentally handicapped persons. Immediately after the genocide, the widows who managed to escape the massacres faced enormous difficulties. All were victims of violence, most suffered from various sexually transmitted infections, some had lost limbs, all suffered from psychological problems of fear, generalised anxiety and trauma, and most from crushing and dehumanising poverty. To try to end this situation, in August 1994 five widows who had escaped from Kigali took the initiative of meeting regularly to discuss their problems. Their number grew, and by January 1995 there were 50 of them, and on 15 January 1995 they decided to set up the Association of the Widows of the Genocide (AVEGA). The main aim of the association is the psycho-socio-economic rehabilitation of the widows of the genocide and their reintegration into the country's development process.